Shaffer, Dorothy Oakley
Dorothy “Dot” Shaffer (88) won’t have to spend another Valentine’s Day without her husband of sixty years, Aldine. Dot passed away on Feb. 7 after a years-long battle with dementia and other health issues. More accurately, she relocated to far better living arrangements alongside her savior, Jesus, Aldine, and countless other dearly-loved family members and friends.
If you never met Dot, that stinks for you. She was a woman who never met a stranger, had an uncanny ability to call a person the moment that they sat down to dinner, and always believed in the best of folks, no matter how hard they tried to prove her wrong.
There’s a fancier word for that latter quality – grace. And Dot’s superpower was extending grace to others freely and often. It was extremely admirable, while also occasionally being extremely frustrating. But that’s just how authentic, abundant grace works.
Dot was born on April 4, 1935 in Danbury, N.C. She spent many hard years working in tobacco fields and later in a hosiery mill after she dropped out of high school to get married. Later in life, she found herself taking on the role of caretaker for her mother-in-law and later her husband as they fought their own battles with dementia.
Perhaps it was those experiences that helped her cultivate her superpower. She was proud of the challenges she’d overcome, but also resolute that they earned her no status from which she could look down on others. Regardless, it’s a superpower we’d all be better for attempting to emulate.
Dot was preceded in death by her husband of sixty years, Aldine, sisters, Marjorie Grogan and Linda Jones, parents, Ersie and Harry Foil Oakley, and son, Steven Bradley Shaffer.
She is survived by her daughter, Denise Jordan (John) and daughter-in-law, Nell Gollnick (Denny), as well as her grandchildren; Travis Williams (Annie), Danielle Williams (Paul), Nathan Shaffer (Wendy), Elliott Williams-Caperton (Adam), Erin Shaffer (Harrison), great-grandchildren; Asher, Bennett, Dawson, Paul Ervin, Shields, and Zoiee, special nephew and niece; Jayson Grogan (Tracy) and Beverly Snow (Mark), and great nephews; Brian and Bryce.
A graveside service will be held at Buffalo Cemetery in Sandy Ridge, N.C. on Feb. 9 at 1 p.m. Everyone is welcome.
In lieu of flowers, Dot would love for you to consider donating to her beloved church, Delta Methodist Church, at P.O. Box 151, Sandy Ridge, N.C., 27046.
A special thanks to the staff of the Kroontje Health Care Center and Warm Hearth Village in Blacksburg, Va.